11 Things You Should Know About Ah Kau

• <--- He doesn't know how to do these dots.
• He loves Takeshi Kitano movies because he walks with his legs apart.
• He loves kimchee, eats it everyday, hides it in his hardboiled dvd case.
• He thinks he is indian, I don't have the heart to tell him hes very ugly and emits bad odors.
• He likes to put condoms on his head and draw pictures of bees.
• When he goes out to dinner he always gets the doggy bag (and he puts his cat in it to be ironic).
• He thinks 7 is an unlucky number, because on the 7/7/97 and 7am he had an erotic dream about Jerry Brukheimer.
• He invites strangers to his house to have some of his jook.
• He is fatter than Free Willy and thinks anime girls are real (he tries to call them and uses his indian voice because he's nervous).
• He plays cards with a full deck for himself and always loses. (dumb).
• I'm not kidding.

Free Willy

Please read before reaching for the phone..

I know so much about William the killer whale from the movie Free Willy that I feel it's my duty to tell you all the information I know :

• He is a mammal not a fish.
• He prefers small boys to his own species.
• He likes salt water.
• He doesn't mind chlorine pools.
• He's black and white mainly.
• He can see out of his eyes.
• Ah Kau is fatter than him.
• His favorite movie is Free Willy.
• He could have a child some day.
• If he bit your head off you'd die.
• He can jump out of water far and wide.
• He is free. (sort of)

If you have no idea what i'm talking about go hire Free Willy it's great, it's like a modern day Prison On Fire.

Fish

I would like to thank you all for reading this post, but i decided not to. When I put my jumper on it's too hot and when i take it off it's too cold.

I don't know what to do.

No matter what my parents taught me I will always remember not to feed the fish with dandruff, always use "alive-o" fish food. When you buy fish and you dont have a filter, you don't expect them to shit as much as they do.
They leave poo stains on the side of the tank, when you wash the pebbles the smell of crap and sea water is far greater than I could ever imagine.

Fish are our future, eyyy

They were filming Ghost Rider in my street

The upcoming movie Ghost Rider starring Nicolas Cage is being filmed completely in Australia, Nic Cage done up in all the make up looks alot like Johnny Blaze from the comic.

A few weeks ago they closed off a bridge leading from the train station to the casino so they could film one part of the chase scene on the bridge, it was covered so tightly no one could see a thing. Nicolas Cage has been seen having coffee and lunch in Melbourne, some people have even had photos taken with him and sent them into the paper. But the project has kept pretty secret other than that.
A few days ago though I was walking past the tunnel right on the end of my street and there were police surrounding it. It looked like a large car fire I thought it was someone who stole a car and abandoned it in the tunnel setting fire to it ,but I was wrong. Seeing the paper a few days later there was a picture of that tunnel and the Hellcycle from Ghost Rider with the front tire set on fire, it looks amazing.

The tunnel

No matter how this movie turns out i'll probably still like it, just spotting the locations and about 80% of it is filmed in Melbourne. I remember feeling the same about the film Mr Nice Guy watching Jackie Chan run through the city of Melbourne and jumping on top of trams was great.

Godzilla VS Megaguirus

This was probably the best godzilla movie i've ever seen 100 times better than the hollywood piece of crap. I went to the video shop and decided to hire this, unaware I would eventually be inspired.
I watched events unfold in english dubbing slightly hilarious if.. i ..do ..say so myself.
The basic story is godzilla kills the girls master at the start and she wants revenge from then on in, they build a giant laser that comes from space. Godzilla has to stand on the exact target of the laser for it to work. Not a second more or less.
But all of a sudden out of nowhere locust type things begin to appear, until eventually the huge Megaguirus appears, half the size of the city. From then on out -chaos.

Some of the effects are amazing like the final battle between Godzilla and Megaguirus (both models make it very funny at times and model city.) the explosions are very satisfying (Godzillas mouth laser is a sight to behold). Some ar'nt so good, like when the locusts appear and when tokyo is underwater (bad cgi at work).


What ends is a very funny comedy and a deceptively inspiring final battle, recommend it ..I do. I bet Ah Kau (boo) hates it.