Australia Ghost Town

Tribute to William Creamer

2007-03-18T23:32:00.000+11:00

One way you could sum up the actor William Creamer is he was old. He lived up to his name in more ways than one, he also liked alcohol in moderation.

Movies he starred in...

1974 - Texas Chainsaw Massacre

Character he played - Bearded Man

1984 - Blood Simple

Character he played - Old cracker

Ah Kau's missing

2006-07-09T03:40:00.000+10:00

I put this up today...

Ah Kau is missing as you can see...

He was last seen here leaving a chicken pen in South Korea, he was known as the 'chicken fucker' in town, so ask around.

So if you see him let me know...

DON'T FUCK WITH CHUCK

2006-06-23T02:15:00.000+10:00

I'm writing a book

2006-06-17T06:34:00.000+10:00

I'm writing a book, it'll be about people who have been bitten on the testicles by bull ants. Please suggest titles, if I like your idea you'll get your name in it and a free copy signed by me.

A chip a day keeps the doctor away.

2006-04-30T02:18:00.000+10:00

Ah Kau is no stranger to the work force here he is hard at work Wednesday afternoon.

Pretty soon he'll get a packet of chips out of the pantry for lunch.

Hardwork leads to success

2006-04-30T01:59:00.000+10:00

This is Chowyunfatsbrother hard at work back home in China:

When he's not looking, this is his dog hard at work in the field:

Take good care of your dog! Dog is our future, eeyyyyyy!!!

Plate, eyyy

2006-03-26T18:24:00.000+11:00

Eyeball song

2006-01-28T15:57:00.000+11:00

Eye balls
Whatcha want, watcha want
Whatcha gonna do
When Sheriff Chow Yun Fat come for you
Tell me
Whatcha gonna do, whatcha gonna do
Yeaheah

Eye balls, Eye balls
Whatcha gonna do, whatcha gonna do
When they come for you

Kenny g, Kenny g
Whatcha gonna do, whatcha gonna do
When they come for you

When you were fat
And you had a plastic bat
You go to the pool
And a golden stool
So why are you
Pissing in school
If you get fleas
You become chinese

They're remaking The Wild Bunch

2006-01-24T22:49:00.000+11:00

Whoa.... heavy man

Top 25

2006-01-19T01:51:00.000+11:00

Hey I havent posted in a while, mainly because no one reads blog. But I decided to post my top 25 movies for you because I like to share and i'm not a tight arse :

1. The good the bad and the ugly
2. Bullet in the head
3. A fistful of dynamite
4. Dirty harry
5. The wild bunch
6. Once upon a time in the west
7. The offence
8. For a few dollars more
9. A fistful of dollars
10. Evil dead 2
11. Four of the apocalypse
12. Rome armed to the teeth
13. Body double
14. Full contact
15. Dark passage
16. From beijing with love
17. The meaning of life
18. Darkman
19. The beguiled
20. The fighting fists of shanghai joe
21. The italian job (1969)
22. Dressed to kill
23. A better tomorrow
24. Django
25. Goldfinger

How about that, that's amazing.... or is it..... discuss....

WISE CHINESE FORTUNE TELLER

2005-11-24T00:41:00.000+11:00

Click a number to see your fortune in picture form as predicted by Chong (above)
(only first click counts)
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

FUCKER

2005-11-12T16:21:00.000+11:00

Fucker

CYFB alive ie: Blog not dead

2005-11-10T01:05:00.000+11:00

Hey i am back with a new computer because my other one fucked up and left me for dead, I just hope you all post as much as you did before this happened because it was somgething special. My blog was the best back in the day, now im here to make the blog appeal to a younger crowd ie: you.
I am here ah kau sorry mate

*plays sad music*

This Blog Is Dead ...

2005-10-09T16:04:00.000+10:00

... and I don't know where Chowyunfatsbrother is.

Too much money

2005-08-25T04:08:00.000+10:00

I dont know what to write, on this blog, its alot of fun ...i'm reading my bank statement and I got $1.50 for nothing. What will I buy with that money, maybe a small piece of chocolate from a machine, a train ticket or a condom.
If I were to go to America I couldnt even buy that, i'd have to raise another $1.50 or even less to buy that very product and purchase it at the price it is. Then when I eat it I will get energy and I will be able to do anything in the world, except maybe jumping to the top of niagra falls from the bottom to the top with only one jump, or falling from a 1000 story building and surviving, and many other things.
I feel like I should sleep now too as it's 4: 30, but when I go to bed and sleep straight away it feels like only minutes pass and I wake up hours later and thats really hard to handle when I go to bed at hours such as these. Do you believe I have a cold, it's true, lucky irish cream is in the cupboard for me to pour it upto 2 cm and I will surely feel better, but if I go and swim in the river on this -1 degree night I will surely die or become frostbitten by the coldness of the water, or as I like to call it "icy water".
There was a man on the tram the other day who I sat next to, when we passed the casino he yelled out "bloody casino, full pockets, fuck you all" and he continued to say stuff like that every 5 minutes, it was frightening at first yet got quite funny after a while, I think he had turrets syndrome. 3 things I want to avoid in my life - Syphillis, gangreen and turrets syndrome......and many others

DJANGO KILL .... IF YOU LIVE..... SHOOT!

2005-08-14T21:18:00.000+10:00

I'm about to buy this movie DJANGO KILL .... IF YOU LIVE..... SHOOT! off ebay, so don't bid on it or I kill you bastard and then if you are still alive i'll shoot...

2005-08-10T02:01:00.000+10:00

JILA MINT, MR CONK?

Hey, Opie!

2005-08-08T00:51:00.000+10:00

What's up? Are you bored? Well, I am. So let's talk about my childhood. My uncle used to take me fishing. He was a secret agent. And then there was this thin guy who was a meter-reader. Then there was Aunt Bleargh, who baked pies and made wholesome dinners for us. What an idyllic childhood it was.

Just like the town we lived in.

Then one day, a horrible thing happened. Gujira stomped our town to bits and killed everyone.

Yeah, bay-bee, yeah!

Magic

2005-08-05T05:05:00.000+10:00

Hey kids!

Here you see an ordinary man

boom!

Abracadabra

Oh no

Oh no he's a frog

NO CAMERA TRICKS WERE USED

For dirty minds only

2005-07-31T18:18:00.000+10:00

This is Alison Eastwood, Clint's daughter. She is quite hot, says Chowyunfatsbrother, who happens to be a pervert.

Alison recently appeared in Playboy. Chowyunfatsbrother salivated profusely. The floor was wet. He decided to break up with his long-time boyfriend Jerry Bruckheimer.

For all you perverts like Chowyunfatsbrother, guess which part of Alison this is:

Scroll down for the answer.

It's her armpit, you PERVERTS!!!

Ah Kau Dark and Dirty

2005-07-24T18:34:00.000+10:00

I payed a friend of mine to fly to Ah Kau's home town and follow him around for a few days. What she discovered after that is quite disturbing...

Last Monday at 1pm : My friend started following him some how Ah Kau never saw her, he walked for ages until he reached a building. Ah Kau entered .. a few hours later he came out with a trolley, I don't know what this VD stands for but i'm sure it sells quality goods.

On Wednesday night of that same week my friend was tailing him with her car, again the drive was extremely long until the car stopped next to what looked a giant mansion with electric fences all around the side. Ah Kau got out of his car and the doors opened for him, my friend put on a mask like everyone else and ran to make the gate as she entered everyone was naked and they were all smoking drugs.
Loud post apocolyptic music started playing and Ah Kau started walking down the stairs , everyone was bowing down to him. He yelled "hi Hitler!" then sat at his desk, then cut off a chickens head and squirted it on everyone, something was off with Ah Kau that day.

Real photo i'm not joking
Ah Kau is dangerous

All in all my friend had a good week she cropped Ah Kau's picture on her computer onto this photo, I think she did a good job I just had to show you..

Ha ha fake photo obviously

How sweet! Mmmmmmm ...!

2005-07-24T05:07:00.000+10:00

This is Chowyunfatsbrother's boyfriend. He is the guy responsible for giving you headaches in the cinema with such gentle and alluring fare as Bad Boys, Pearl Harbor, Armageddon and Chowyunfatsbrother's all-time cinematic favourite, Pretty Pirates Of The Caribbean.

Coming Soon

2005-07-22T04:35:00.000+10:00

(Text will be added soon to acompany this picture,
I just have to think of something)

Chowyunfatsbrother has got baaaaad taste

2005-07-16T23:31:00.000+10:00

He's got bad taste not because he sucked some goat balls last night, and it left some sticky residue in his mouth, but because he actually loves War Of The Worlds!

I bet he wishes that Jerry Bruckheimer had produced WOTW and included pirates in the story. Gay pirates, that is.

Sex

2005-07-11T00:49:00.000+10:00

Click here if you like sex .

11 Things You Should Know About Ah Kau

2005-06-30T00:42:00.000+10:00

<--- He doesn't know how to do these dots.
He loves Takeshi Kitano movies because he walks with his legs apart.
He loves kimchee, eats it everyday, hides it in his hardboiled dvd case.
He thinks he is indian, I don't have the heart to tell him hes very ugly and emits bad odors.
He likes to put condoms on his head and draw pictures of bees.
When he goes out to dinner he always gets the doggy bag (and he puts his cat in it to be ironic).
He thinks 7 is an unlucky number, because on the 7/7/97 and 7am he had an erotic dream about Jerry Brukheimer.
He invites strangers to his house to have some of his jook.
He is fatter than Free Willy and thinks anime girls are real (he tries to call them and uses his indian voice because he's nervous).
He plays cards with a full deck for himself and always loses. (dumb).
I'm not kidding.

10 Things You Should Know About Chowyunfatsbrother

2005-06-23T01:19:00.000+10:00

1. He has a bloody long name, and it compensates for ... something.

2. He loves whale movies. That's because he hates tuna. But he believes fish is our future. Eyyy!

3. He is a walking contradiction.

4. Minus the "contra" and "tion", he is a walking dick.

5. Add a "head" and he is a walking dickhead.

6. He thinks he is Chinese. I don't have the heart to tell him he is really a fish.

7. He likes Bruckheimer movies because of their gay themes.

8. He is gay.

9. I'm just kidding.

10. There really are only 9 things you should know about him. Because he's one short of a full deck, know what I mean?

Free Willy

2005-06-20T01:58:00.000+10:00

Please read before reaching for the phone..

I know so much about William the killer whale from the movie Free Willy that I feel it's my duty to tell you all the information I know :

He is a mammal not a fish.
He prefers small boys to his own species.
He likes salt water.
He doesn't mind chlorine pools.
He's black and white mainly.
He can see out of his eyes.
Ah Kau is fatter than him.
His favorite movie is Free Willy.
He could have a child some day.
If he bit your head off you'd die.
He can jump out of water far and wide.
He is free. (sort of)

If you have no idea what i'm talking about go hire Free Willy it's great, it's like a modern day Prison On Fire.

Pussy

2005-06-16T03:19:00.000+10:00

Not all pussy are desirable. Some pussy are meant to be kicked. Pussycats, that is.

I hate cats. I love kicking them whenever they come round to my house.

My parents dressed me up in sweaters when I was young. I took them off when it was hot. I wore them again when it was cold. I knew exactly what to do.

So when cats come to my house, I stomp them to death, or slam them against the metal gate.

One cat deserves it more than others. The orange one.

I am violent. I need help.

Fish

2005-06-12T23:12:00.000+10:00

I would like to thank you all for reading this post, but i decided not to. When I put my jumper on it's too hot and when i take it off it's too cold.

I don't know what to do.

No matter what my parents taught me I will always remember not to feed the fish with dandruff, always use "alive-o" fish food. When you buy fish and you dont have a filter, you don't expect them to shit as much as they do.
They leave poo stains on the side of the tank, when you wash the pebbles the smell of crap and sea water is far greater than I could ever imagine.

Fish are our future, eyyy

Chowyunfatsbrother thinks he is Chinese now

2005-06-06T04:48:00.000+10:00

Over the weekend, I introduced Chowyunfatsbrother to Hong Kong rap group LMF (which stands for Lazy Motherf**kers).

Now the guy thinks he's Chinese. He's got Chinese New Year songs and Chow Yun Fat ditties on his computer.

And he's running around Melbourne in cool hip-hop clothes shouting: "Tiu nia seng! Tiu nia seng! Ham ka ling! Ham ka ling!"

Imagine that! A white guy on the streets of Melbourne going: "G'day mate! Tiu lei!"

Ah, globalisation! What a wonderful thing it is.

They were filming Ghost Rider in my street

2005-06-05T05:04:00.000+10:00

The upcoming movie Ghost Rider starring Nicolas Cage is being filmed completely in Australia, Nic Cage done up in all the make up looks alot like Johnny Blaze from the comic.

A few weeks ago they closed off a bridge leading from the train station to the casino so they could film one part of the chase scene on the bridge, it was covered so tightly no one could see a thing. Nicolas Cage has been seen having coffee and lunch in Melbourne, some people have even had photos taken with him and sent them into the paper. But the project has kept pretty secret other than that.
A few days ago though I was walking past the tunnel right on the end of my street and there were police surrounding it. It looked like a large car fire I thought it was someone who stole a car and abandoned it in the tunnel setting fire to it ,but I was wrong. Seeing the paper a few days later there was a picture of that tunnel and the Hellcycle from Ghost Rider with the front tire set on fire, it looks amazing.

The tunnel

No matter how this movie turns out i'll probably still like it, just spotting the locations and about 80% of it is filmed in Melbourne. I remember feeling the same about the film Mr Nice Guy watching Jackie Chan run through the city of Melbourne and jumping on top of trams was great.

Godzilla VS Megaguirus

2005-06-03T13:32:00.000+10:00

This was probably the best godzilla movie i've ever seen 100 times better than the hollywood piece of crap. I went to the video shop and decided to hire this, unaware I would eventually be inspired.
I watched events unfold in english dubbing slightly hilarious if.. i ..do ..say so myself.
The basic story is godzilla kills the girls master at the start and she wants revenge from then on in, they build a giant laser that comes from space. Godzilla has to stand on the exact target of the laser for it to work. Not a second more or less.
But all of a sudden out of nowhere locust type things begin to appear, until eventually the huge Megaguirus appears, half the size of the city. From then on out -chaos.

Some of the effects are amazing like the final battle between Godzilla and Megaguirus (both models make it very funny at times and model city.) the explosions are very satisfying (Godzillas mouth laser is a sight to behold). Some ar'nt so good, like when the locusts appear and when tokyo is underwater (bad cgi at work).

What ends is a very funny comedy and a deceptively inspiring final battle, recommend it ..I do. I bet Ah Kau (boo) hates it.

Ah, shocking expose!

2005-05-31T08:27:00.000+10:00

A prominent Australian psychologist working in Malaysia sent me this in email:

Dear Ah Kau,

Re: Your queries about your friend Chowyunfatsbrother. Yes, he was once a patient of mine. I can confirm that he suffers from severe manic depression, which leads to personality disorder and extreme paranoia. Which clearly explains his behaviour of late, his claims of receiving threatening emails from you.

I have gone through his records again, and found some shocking pictures from his childhood and early adulthood.

This was Chowyunfatsbrother as a baby. As you can see, his paranoia had manifested so early in his life.

This is him as a young adult. You can see once again that the paranoia had worsened.

This pic has nothing to do with him. I just thought it was funny.

Please do be careful with this highly dangerous individual. Please do call me or the police, or even Interpol, should he continue to harrass and threaten you.

Good luck!

Regards,
Dr Philip "Zatoichi" MacGooddool III, Esq.

Wowowow

2005-05-30T21:28:00.000+10:00

Someone sent me this in the mail :
To chowyunfatsbrother ,

I will enjoy killing one person a day until you pay
me $100000 so i can buy all Jerry Brukheimer movies
and some lube. If you agree say so within 48 hours
in http://fulat.blogspot.com/ , i will set up a meeting.

Love Ah Kau .

PS I hope you like my drawing

What the hell Ah Kau? leave me alone you sick bastard

Sad and crappy

2005-05-30T03:49:00.000+10:00

This is really pathetic.

Chowyunfatsbrother and I are the only ones commenting on our blog.

What does it say when bloggers comment on their own blog?

Sad.

Chowyunfatsbrother is crap

2005-05-29T15:59:00.000+10:00

This is why this blog is so crap.

Chowyunfatsbrother, being the dope he is, didn't know what he was doing, and ended up accidentally inviting me to contribute to his blog. Yes, BY ACCIDENT.

How much crappier can it be?

So now he's stuck with me. Until he figures out how to delete me from the contributors list, that is.

While he's trying to get rid of me, I will do my crappiest to make this blog the crappiest in the universe.

Dammit!

2005-05-29T04:12:00.000+10:00

Tiu lei, Chowyunfatsbrother!!!

What the...

2005-05-29T03:57:00.000+10:00

I want you all to know i'm the boss of this blog not that anyone will ever read this, if i tell Ah Kau to put his head up a bulls anus he has to do it.

My master

2005-05-28T21:39:00.000+10:00

He teaches me everthing i know